- A: are you going to talk about porn?
- B: no...
- A: okay, because i am.
“dear diary, today bryant looked at me for the first time. it’s been 3 years since i first saw him, but it’s day 1 since he’s noticed me.” —
Bryant Leung (via rekindledsparks)
HAD TO BRING THIS BACK.
“Finn, you`re getting heavier. you have to be careful, especially the closer we get to Thanksgiving. you could be in danger.” —Father Vader
my iPod is malfunctioning, which kind of sucks hard, but it`s okay, i can burn a CD because i`m a `90s baby.
my mom is really bad at feigning interest.
- Father: this is the USS Iowa battleship.
- Mom: [glances over newspaper article] oh, i see.
- Father: its guns are really big!
- Mom: oh.
- Father: it`s in San Pedro right now. do you want to go see it?
- Mom: no.
just found a Planned Parenthood chapstick in my duffel bag. who gave this to me…?
- J: you're just afraid i'll be wayyy too thug.lyfeee for you
- C: hrm yeah you're probably right i don't think i could handle an Asian girl who thinks she's black, you chocolate filled twinkie
“you know, Father`s Day passed, and i was waiting for something, but I didn`t get anything.” —Father Vader
- Angie: save lives!
- Bryant: saving lives does not save gas!